Naruto's Perverted Adventures
by Right Hand Of Jashin
Summary: What would happen if Jiraiya trained Naruto properly? What if Naruto became a pervert too? WARNING - Contains lemons... Powerful/Perverted Naruto.
1. They Return

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto. There I said it are you happy now?!

A/N Okay well i got tired of just reading fanfics so i decided to try my own so dont be too harsh.

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On a narrow dirt road surrounded by tall green trees, just outside of the towering gates of Konohagakure, two figures could be seen walking down. The first could be considered a giant of a man with long spiky white hair and red markings on his face that went from his eyes to his chin. He was dressed in very odd clothes that a traveler might wear, consisting of a worn green kimono with a red battle vest placed over the top. Under his kimono is a set of chain mail that protects his whole body a pair geta sandals and to top it off a headband with the kanji for oil etched onto it. He was none other than the legendary toad sage Jiraiya.

The second who was considerably smaller than the first had extremely spiky blonde hair that reached his shoulders and he wore clothes that were more befitting of a shinobi. He wore a black muscle shirt, a pair of dark green khaki pants and some black ninja sandals. To top off his look he had a black cloak with red clouds adorning it that covered the bottom half of his face. On his right index finger he had a ring with the kanji for 'Blue' and on his right pinky he had another ring of the same design with the kanji for 'Boar', though they remained unseen because his cloak covers his hands. However probably the strangest thing about the young man was the three whisker like markings on each of his cheeks. On his back was a nodachi with a black blade that reflected no light and a blood red handle with nine tassels hanging off of the end. He was the apprentice of the self proclaimed super pervert and a pervert himself ; Naruto Namikaze.

'I wonder how the girls back home have developed, hehe...' he was suddenly brought out of his musing when he received a rather hard bonk on the head, courtesy of his sensei.

"Dammit Ero-Sennin!"

"Oi, gaki, keep those naughty thoughts to yourself and clean that blood from your nose , were here."

'I'm so proud of him. I never did get round to turning his father into a perv.' Jiraiya thought with a grin that slowly turned into a scowl after his trail of thought had ended .

"Hey kid, you might want to take Zetsu's cloak off. We don't want another incident like the one in Kumo."

"Meh, guess you're right, its not fun nearly being stabbed by seven swords at once." Ah yes the incident in Kumo, Naruto was mistaken for an akatsuki member and was attacked by both the Raikage and his brother, who was funnily enough the host of the eight tailed ox, after some akatsuki hunting.

The idea hit Naruto in the middle of learning some kenjutsu skills to combat Kisame, or as Naruto called him fish face. The way Naruto saw it why wait for the akatsuki to hunt him down when he could hunt some of their weaker members down and pick them off one by one.

It wasn't easy though, even their weakest member, Zetsu, wasn't easy to beat. In the end he had to take his weights off and plough a rasengan into the back of the head to finish him off thanks to Zetsu's fast regenerative abilities.

As they neared the gates they walked in silence until they were stopped by the guards at the gate.

"Halt! State your names and your reasons for visiting konoha." Demanded a guard with some bandages running across his face. No one noticing a figure leap onto the wall overlooking the gate.

'Oh god no...' Kakashi thought dejectedly as he saw the look that crept onto both Naruto and Jiraiya's face.

"...You don't recognize us?..." they said in union and when they answered, one of the biggest grins ever seen crept onto their faces.

"No should we know you?" asked the guard who was a bit wary by the look on Jiraiya's face.

Jiraiya said nothing as he and Naruto started to hand seals at an amazing pace and the guards quickly jumped into defensive stances as they both slammed their hands on the floor.

"KUCHIYOSE NO JUTSU!" The loud yell came from within the smoke and the guards took out kunais as an attack now looked imminent.

When the smoke had dissipated Jiraiya and Naruto stood on top of two medium sized battle toads, in one of the most awkward stances they had ever seen and Kakashi just stood there with a huge bead of sweat rolling down the back of his head.

What ensued next would forever be branded into the minds of Kakashi, the guards and all the surrounding wildlife as both teacher and student did the most ridiculous dance ever seen. They even sung for Kami's sake!

'I would much rather be Orochimaru's next experiment than watch that again.' All three of the spectators thought at the same time.

**SOMEWHERE IN OTO...**

Orochimaru sneezed three times in a row and Kabuto ran straight to his master like a good dog.

"Orochimaru sama are you okay?!"

"Yes, kukukukukukuku, although I bet Sasuke kun is thinking dirty thoughts about me right now."

Sasuke just turned away as Orochimaru directed his creepiest smile towards him and Sasuke just knew that somewhere in the world an infants orphanage had just burned to the ground for no apparent reason.

**BACK IN KONOHA**

After the guards had finally realized who they were and let them in, the pair had made their way straight towards Tsunade's office at a steady pace.

As they walked through the streets almost every female in the area looked at Naruto with hearts in their eyes and much to Naruto's dismay and disgust even a few men had the same look. Jiraiya just stood off to the side with comical tears rolling down his face.' Lucky brat.' he thought as he watched as Naruto received offers off sex and marriage from more than a few of the women.

They finally made it to the the office after having to pry a few women away from Naruto and when they opened the door. When Tsunade saw who it was she rushed towards the duo and Jiraiya being Jiraiya put his arms out to receive the hug only to be blasted through the wall and the next three after that.

Tsunade then continued on her path and crushed Naruto into a vicious bear hug only for Naruto to return it."Tsunade, good to see you!" He then let his hand snake down to her ass only for it to be crushed and the air forced out of him. "Keep it above the waist, brat."

Then the ramifications of what Naruto had just tried to do then hit Tsunade as veins bulged out of her forehead and temple. She turned to the perverted hermit just as he was climbing from the wreckage of the walls and glared so fiercely that the genin that was bringing more paperwork to her office pissed his pants and fainted.

"**JIIRRRAIYAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"**

His screams could be heard for hours.


	2. Hinata's bliss and Jiraiya's bad day

After Tsunade had kicked seven shades of shit out of his mentor Naruto decided it would be a good time to go and meet up with the rookie 8 and team Gai.

'Hmm who to see first?' He wondered, but being the perv that he is he decided to go and check on all of his female friends first. 'Right so that means that I have to go and check on Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Tenten. Hehe why not Hinata's hot sensei too.'

Since he couldn't make his mind up he decided to just wander from training field to training field hoping he would stumble upon one of them. He didn't get far when he noticed he was being followed by some chick with lavender hair, a huge rack and pale eyes...

'Wait a minute pale eyes and lavender hair? Is that - '

"HINATA?!?!?! He screamed as he turned around faster than the fourth could ever hope to achieve even with the Hiranshin. Said girl immediately blushed and tried to hide behind a lamp post.

After a few minutes she gathered up the confidence and slowly walked towards him and couldn't help but blush fiercely when she took in his handsome features and blushed even more, if it was possible, when she saw him ogling her body.

Meanwhile Naruto was nearly hyperventilating when he took in all of her features, well it was hard not to, I mean she had curves in all the right places and a soft angelic face. He couldn't believe that this was the same girl from his academy class.

As she got nearer to him her heart rate quickened and she began to doubt herse-

'No! I worked up the courage to speak to him and that's what I'm going to do' feeling another rush of confidence she quickened her pace and stopped in front of him looking anywhere but directly into his eyes. "H-h-hello N-naruto kun"

She mumbled quietly.

Back with Naruto he heard her mumble out a quiet greeting and decide to play his cards because he had to tap that shit. "Hello Hinata chan, you sure did get more beautiful while I was away." He gave her a heartwarming smile and she fainted on the spot.

"Hmm, my old apartment is close I guess I could take her there...He he"

He began chuckling as he picked her up bridal style and accidentally groped her ass and chest.

Meanwhile with every bodies favorite perverted hermit, things were finally looking up after he had miraculously recovered from a major ass whooping courtesy of Tsunade. He was just relaxing in a comfortable tree with his telescope ogling at all of the babes in the hot springs with his biggest fanboy, Kakashi, at his side.

Extremely close to the two of them however was konoha's resident snake mistress and she was pissed off because it was _**that**_ time of the month and she couldn't find Iruka anywhere to rape- I mean make passionate love to. When she passed under a certain tree however she felt a warm liquid splash onto her face, looking up caused her blood to boil and a certain gleam entered her eyes along with a devilish smirk to creep onto her pretty face.

She slowly ascended the tree and wrote 'pervert' on a rather large sticky note and was about to pound a sign onto both kakashi's and Jiraiya's back but Jiraiya wasn't a sannin for nothing and he quickly jumped onto the branch above after his perverted danger senses started tingling. However Kakashi was not so lucky and got smashed face first into the concrete next to the ladies bathing area.

Kakashi got up and was slowly backed into a corner with dozens of furious women slowly ascending on him.

"Jiraiya sama please save me!" he wailed looking up only to be met with the grim visage of his master.

"I'm sorry Kakashi, I truly am, but some battles must be fought on your own."

Kakashi just looked up in shock, sadness, helplessness and a small amount of loathing, but that was soon replaced by extreme pain as a powerful knee soon found its way into his balls, he couldn't even scream because it was followed by another and another and another and a lot more. He couldn't fall down either because a particularly fat, hairy and sweaty women wrapped her arms around him.

Jiraiya winced as he watched his faithful partner lose all chances of children, he began sending prayers begging kami to let his partner in crime survive. But he soon stopped as he felt something slither up his leg, looking down he saw several small snakes each armed with dangerous looking fangs slithering towards what all men considered priceless.( apart from Kakashi because his were now a liquid)

Time seemed to slow down as the snakes reared their heads back and launch themselves at his testicles and clasp on with jaw force that would make a T-Rex jealous.

The scream that followed shattered windows and made every male on the planet wince and cover their precious protectively, even the shinigami stopped in his torturing of the third and fourth hokages and shuffled uncomfortably.

**SOMEWHERE ELSE IN KONOHAGURE**

"Yosh, Gai sensei such an un youthful act has just been committed!" Lee practically screamed at the top of his voice." I suggest we do 500 hundred laps around konoha's youthful walls with boulders strapped to our backs to purge the village of un purity!"

"Lee, your youthfulness knows no bounds! On the count of three let our spring time of youth help us in our quest to rid the world of un youthfulness!" I'll give you one try to guess who said this...

Back with our resident jinchuriki and Hinata the latter was just starting to awake.

"Wh-where am I?" she asked as she groggily sat up." And what was that high pitched noise?". She had no time to ponder as she looked around and noticed a soaking wet Naruto in the kitchen cooking several pots of ramen clad only in a towel.

However something was off as she didn't even blush and began making seals for a sound suppression technique, as she finished them she smirked in a very un Hinata-ish way.

She slowly began to slip her clothes off and crept towards Naruto with nothing on. She slowly pressed her self and her rather large assets up against the blondes back and wrapped her arms around his stomach.

"Naruto kun" she purred and Naruto's nose started to drip blood as he realized just what was pressed against his back.

As he attempted to turn around he was tossed onto his very conveniently placed bed and pinned down before he could react.

"H-hinata w-what are you-" Before he could continue with what he was going to say he found the Hyuuga heiress forcing her tongue into his mouth.

When he didn't do anything she began to get slightly annoyed. "Listen Naruto, you can either join in or I'll rape you." she threatened, but then Naruto finally caught up to what was happening and smirked.

Before long Naruto joined in and began massaging her breasts with both hands as she moaned into their fierce make out session. This is when he began to feel Naruto Jr. get excited and apparently so did Hinata as she began to grind her hips against his, with only the towel separating them. Finally their lips parted and Naruto immediately wrestled free from her grasp and raised his head to suck on her erect nipple while rubbing her other nipple in a circular motion between his thumb and index finger while after every minute or so alternating between each breast.

Hinata seemed to enjoy this as she began moaning loudly and grabbing onto his hair. Naruto eventually stopped as his erection was pushing almost painfully against its fabric confines. She seemed to understand as she slowly peeled the towel away revealing his rock hard 9 inch member with a tuft of blonde pubic hair above it.

Naruto groaned as she grabbed it with both hands and began to slowly pump it up and down, after a couple of seconds she began to increase her speed causing Naruto to grunt in pleasure.

She then slowed down and finally stopped for a second as she engulfed the head of his cock into her mouth and slowly start to massage it with her tongue, making him release a moan from his lips. Then she slowly started to bob her head up and down taking in more of him as the seconds went by. Eventually she suppressed her gag reflex and took all of him in her mouth in one go and start humming causing him to gasp in a mix of surprise and pleasure.

After a while she felt his penis twitch in her mouth and she quickly brought her mouth up so it was only his head in her mouth as he exploded and shot 3 burst of cum in her mouth, which she greedily swallowed.

It didn't take long for him to get hard again, so he flipped her over onto her back and lined himself up, before he plunged in just looked at her.

"You sure you want this?" he asked gently only to receive a slap in the face.

"Yes you fucking queer now hurry up and fuck me into next week!" Naruto was extremely shocked by her behavior, where was the caring and shy Hinata? Well it doesn't matter he told himself and plunged right in.

Naruto got his Third shock of the day when he realized he had just took Hinata's virginity, but instead of crying out in pain like he had expected she just screamed in ecstasy and told him to do it harder and faster, he complied without really thinking about as he began to mull over this new development.

' Wow, Hinata's a masochist! Guess I wont feel bad after doing this then he he'

He began to pour a steady amount of chakra into his limbs and began to pound into her even harder, he then grabbed one leg and put it over his shoulder to get deeper.

At the moment Hinata was in pure ecstasy and she opened her mouth in a scream as an orgasm overrode her senses and it wasn't long before another washed over her like a tidal wave.

Meanwhile Naruto could feel himself getting close and he subconsciously let out some of the demons chakra making Hinata release her fluids as Naruto came inside of her.

He pulled out of her and went to take a cold shower as she sank into to blissful unconsciousness. Only one thought went through his mind,

'Wait till Ero sennin hears about this one.' He chuckled darkly as he imagined the face on the hermit as he told what he had done.


	3. Pervert's plight and a visit to the seal

A/N Sorry for the shortness of this chapter, the next one will be longer and the action will start soon. I promise. Oh and for those of you who are wondering the akatsuki rings that Naruto wears will bear some importance later on and Gaara will not be abducted YET, as Naruto killed Deidara in his travels with Jiraiya.

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It was late in the afternoon when Hinata had finally awoken from her orgasm induced slumber and she was feeling great, but she could have done without that scream that had woken her up. Not seeing Naruto anywhere in the room she decided now would be the time that she took a shower and get her self cleaned up, I mean she wouldn't want to walk around all day with something sticky in between her legs would she?

It was 20 minutes after she had gotten out and was fully dressed that the door opened to reveal Naruto there with a bag full of various day to day necessities and some new bed sheets. However that's when she noticed something amiss, Naruto's wallet was still on his dresser. Feeling slightly confused she decided to voice her thoughts.

"Naruto kun, how did you pay for that stuff? Your wallets over there."

"Wh-what?" feeling startled that she was up and dressed he stammered a little before he grinned a little perversely.

"Well, well Hinata chan, lets just say that the woman at the counter didn't just accept money. She also accepted.... other things, He he." his nose bled a little as he remembered just how he had payed for his stuff, Damn he was good!

"Rrrriight..." she drawled gaining a faint idea of how ha had payed for his items. She was brought out of her musings however when Naruto asked her if she would stay for something to eat.

"No thanks, I have to get going, father will be worried." she replied.

"Well, okay. Bye Hinata chan!"

"Bye bye, Naruto kun."

Naruto of course stood in the doorway for a bit watching her ass bounce slightly as she limped around the corner.

'Yeah. am just that good' He thought to himself smugly.

**WITH JIRAIYA- 1 hour ago.**

Things were starting to look up, he had been released from hospital and he was in a happy mood, despite being on crutches and having his balls re attached via medical ninjutsu, he had then decided to pay a visit to his apprentice.

Knocking on his door, only to realize it was open, he just hobbled in and began looking for him. As he was searching he found female clothing and thought he might have gone in the wrong apartment and was about to leave when he heard shifting behind a closed door. Thinking it a threat he decided to take a look and slowly opened the door.

When he looked inside however he nearly bled to death but managed to keep himself under control. There was Hyuuga Hinata, naked, facing away from him, giving him a pleasant view of her ass. She shifted yet again and rolled over so she was facing him and he rocketed backwards out of a window, with twin trails of blood flowing behind him. Unluckily for Jiraiya he rolled to a stop right under Shizune's kimono. Needless to say he was dragged back to the hospital with a multitude of broken bones.

**WITH KAKASHI- PRESENT TIME**

He had just woken up and he didn't know where he was. Trying to get up and failing, he realized he was in some form of full body cast. Giving up on trying to move he looked to the side of him and saw something in a jar that oddly resembled... a penis? Granted it looked like a really deformed one.

Looking closer he saw a note attached to it and began reading out loud.

"Ha ha ha you dirty stinking pervert! Let this serve as a reminder for you on not to drip blood on the great Anko sama!? What the hell???"

Memories of what had happened suddenly came flying back to him and hit him like a hurricane. Fearing the worst Kakashi summoned all the chakra he could, and then some, into his left arm and broke free of the annoying cast and smashed all of it off of himself, momentarily forgetting about his broken bones.

Putting his hands down his pants, searching for something he couldn't live without, when he couldn't feel anything he slowly started to shake in rage and denial.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

He screamed.

The scarecrow then began to slap himself trying to wake himself up from what was obviously a dream, right? I mean what male could survive after what happened to him?

When he didn't wake up he fell to the floor like a puppet with no strings, crying like a baby as he did so.

It would be 5 hours later when a nurse came to check on him that they found the legendary copy cat ninja, sobbing on the floor with a puddle of tears formed beneath him trying to claw his own throat out mumbling 'no' repeatedly over and over again.

**BACK WITH NARUTO- PRESENT TIME**

After Hinata had left Naruto decided that it would be a good time to revive his search for his friends, when he suddenly slipped and smashed the back of his head on the floor landing him a trip to his sub conscious.

As he navigated the complex hallways he pondered the different situations he's been in while in here.

It ranged from being threatened to nearly being killed to finally being raped. Yes raped.

It was a little known fact that the king of hell, was actually the _Queen _of hell. Another little known fact was she was actually bi-polarand the attack on konoha was actually in spite of the Hokage having the same color on his robes as her fur.

As for being raped by the Kyubi in her human form, that was he had lost his virginity. She had lured him down with the urgent message that he was dying and if he didn't fix the leak in the back of her cage he would explode with her chakra, and being the naive little boy that he was he had believed her. That was when she struck and took the phrase 'mind rape' to a whole new level.

His pondering was cut off as he heard the purring of the gorgeous woman in front of him that almost looked normal save for the fact that she had ears on the top of her head like a fox.

"Oh Naru chan I'm so glad you made it, I was beginning to forget about our little deal."

"I couldn't do that now could I kyu chan, after all it benefits both of us."

Ah yes the deal. He had made it with her 2 years into his training and she had promised to give him advanced senses and more chakra, if he came down every week and screwed her senseless. With it the same time Naruto was beginning to become a pervert he instantly agreed.

However, she didn't always want sex, sometimes she just wanted to talk and it was during the last few weeks of his training that he had realized he had fallen for the buxom red haired beauty. He had also found a way to release her from the seal with no negative side effects apart from she would be bound to him and have the chakra of a kage instead of her near infinite supply, that would stay with him.

He was once again broken out of his thoughts when he felt her wrap an arm around his neck and pull him slightly downwards, just enough for her to penetrate his mouth with her tongue.

"Well, Naruto kun, shall we begin?"


	4. A Close Encounter With Bushy Brows

A/N Yeah, because I posted a really short chapter earlier on I decided to waste no time on this one and got straight to work since all of my friends were busy, so enjoy chapter 4.

"**I am Kyubi, hear me roar! MEOW!!! " **means demonic chakra is being used.

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"Well, Naruto kun, shall we begin?"

He allowed himself to be dragged over to a bed that suddenly appeared in his mind scape and Naruto could not help but notice how nice and comfy it looked while she undressed herself as he was undressing him self nearly automatically.

'Hehe I bet it'll look much nicer with her lying on it.' he thought with a small nosebleed, which he quickly tried to cover up.

"Oh ho ho, thinking such naughty thoughts are we, Naruto kun." Only to be forcefully pushed onto the bed and pinned down by Naruto's strong muscular arms.

"I'm in control this time Kyubi hime." she looked up in surprise only to moan out loud when Naruto started to suck on her neck and she gasped, in both pleasure and shock, even louder when he bit down on it and sucked the blood up.

He slowly let his hands roam her naked body before finally stopping on her breasts and rubbing them in ways he knew she liked. Finally lifting his head from her neck and leaving a rather large hickey in place he plunged his tongue in to her mouth as he tried to over power hers as they were battling for dominance.

Eventually Kyubi backed down and let Naruto explore every inch of her mouth and then whimpered slightly as he broke off the kiss a minute later, but immediately ceased as one of his hands found its way down to her dripping sex and two fingers entered her.

She began bucking her hips in rhythm to his fingers so she could get them as deep as possible. It was when he began using his thumb to rub her clit did she feel the tell tale signs of an orgasm approaching and apparently so did Naruto as he swapped his fingers for his tongue and quickly lapped up all of her juices as they came pouring out of her.

It was as she was coming out of her blissful state did she notice that he was attempting to rise, so she grabbed his shoulders and pushed her back down and began to grind against his throbbing member not letting him enter her just yet, causing him to groan out loud.

Soon she grew bored of teasing him and slowly steered him inside of her, hitting her g-spot. She also positioned him so that he would hit it with each thrust of his hips he would hit it, causing the maximum amount of pleasure to be achieved.

Naruto began slow at first but as time went by his pace began to increase, and Kyubi began to slam down as she was slowly coming closer to edge of another orgasm with Naruto not having achieved one yet, but he was near one.

"HARDER YOU LIT**TLE BLONDE SHIT STAIN!" **Frowning at her mood change he once again cursed the fact that she was bi polar but compiled wither request none the less as he began adding more force into his thrusts.

It was during her descent that he felt Kyubi's inner walls tighten around his dick and heard her scream to the heavens as she came for the second time in 5 minutes that he released himself inside of her.

He allowed her to collapse onto his chest as they lay there in the after glow of what had just transpired. He soon felt his body fading away and barely heard Kyubi mumbling,"It was nice as usual, Naru chan, now fuck off I need my sleep."

**OUTSIDE WORLD 30 MINUTES EARLIER**

Sakura had just heard from Tsunade that Naruto had came back from his trip not too long ago and had immediately excused herself to go and find her teammate, without warning her pupil what Jiraiya had done to Naruto on the trip.

Puzzled as to why he didn't come and find her first she began searching all of his usual hangouts before she reached his apartment block and raced up the stairs, only to stop in horror at the sight that greeted her when she made it at the top.

There was her teammate, face down, with blood pooling around his head. Fearing the worst she quickly changed into doctor/nurse mode and began checking for injuries, but was confused when there wasn't any.

All of the blood had seemed to come from his nose, strange huh?

Frowning as he awoke, he found himself in the embrace of someone that smelled familiar, but he couldn't place it. As he groggily opened his eyes he suddenly saw a flash of pink enter his vision.

"S-Sakura chan? Is that you?"

"Naruto?! Naruto you're awake! Oh thank kami I thought something terrible had happened to you! You were just lying in the hallway unconscious when I found you, what happened?!" she just hugged him tighter to her chest, still very worried.

"He he, nothing Sakura chan I just banged my head. It still hurts a bit could you hold me tighter please?" He lied grinning with blood dripping from his nose.

"Of course as long as yo-" she cut herself off mid sentence and pulled back a bit and noticed the slight blush on his face along with a goofy grin and drops of blood on her gown.

Her teeth began grinding together as she realized what he was doing. Naruto seemed to have figured he had been sussed out and quickly sprang to his feet and bolted off with an angry Sakura chasing after him screaming bloody murder.

Sprinting around a corner and easily losing Sakura due to his superior speed, even with his gravity seal active, he saw Bushy brows Jr. and Bushy brows Sr. walking down the street preaching off their youth crap again when their eyes locked onto him, thinking he was doing some form of exercise and Naruto just cured under his breath as they caught up to him.

Suddenly however the old prankster side of Naruto came out and he had one his best ideas in a long time. When they were by his side he quickly launched his plan.

"Gai sensei, you are just the man I was looking for. I urgently require your youthful services, I have an important favor to ask!." he quickly covered up his distaste for talking like that, he could vomit later.

"What is it my youthful comrade? I, the beautiful green beast of konoha, will do anything to help!" He flashed a smile so large and bright that it blinded a man who was passing on a bike causing him to fall off and smash through a fruit stall.

"Well my friend Sakura chan, has told me that she desires to see you and Lee-San in swimming trunks. She was too shy to ask you herself so she told me to do it for her. Please fulfill her request."

"I will on the account that you spar with my youthful student lee to see how brightly your flames of youth burn!"

Lee, who had surprisingly remained silent until now, decided to scream in Naruto's sensitive ears. "Gai sensei, that is an excellent idea-"

"Sure, sure, whatever! Here she comes so get ready." he whispered harshly as he stood on top of a nearby roof to watch the proceedings.

The dynamic duo stopped in the middle of the street and lee began whispering to his sensei on how much it was a good idea that they go swimming in the morning and leave their trunks on. Naruto however heard it all and nearly puked.

When Sakura got near enough they both spun around in perfect union and ripped off their spandex jumpsuits and jumped around exposing the horror to the rest of the world.

At that moment several things happened:

The crowd ran screaming for their lives, quickly deserting the street.

Naruto turned away in disgust.

Several Hyuuga males, who had their Byakugans on for various reasons, fell into fear induced comas.

Pigeons died and fell out of the sky.

And finally Sakura screamed and ran away, forgetting about Naruto's perverse actions.

"Gai sensei! Did you see that?! She was so shocked by our youthful bodies she ran away screaming in joy!"

'yeah, keep telling yourself that.' Naruto thought with a grimace.

"Yes Lee I did! However I believe someone owes you a spar!" He screamed back with equal passion while turning to face Naruto with a fire in his eyes.

"Fine! Just put your god damn clothes on and meet me at training ground 3!"

**3 MINUTES LATER**

"Well are you ready fuzzy brows?" Naruto asked with a confident smirk adorning his face.

"Hai, Naruto kun!"

"Okay," Gai interrupted. "Their shall be no killing blows and everything else is acceptable, however if I feel as though someone has won I will quickly intercept the match. Is this understood?"

"Hai!" Was the two answers he received before both Lee blurred out of sight and threw a quick jab at Naruto's head which was quickly dodged and then countered with a low kick aiming to sweep lee off of his feet but he jumped backwards to avoid it, they both looked at each other with smiles sprinted towards each other again at roughly the same speed.

Jabs and kicks were traded in the center before Lee gained the upper hand and found a lapse in Naruto's guard and sent him flying with a rough kick to the midsection.

Quickly righting himself in mid air, he seal-lessly created four shadow clones to engage lee while he flew through some seals for a jutsu he had created on his travels that had no name as of yet.

Completing the seals just as lee took out one clone he quickly fired off his technique from his open palms.

"Wind release: Raging air current!

A high blast of wind burst from his hands and sped towards lee's position., which flew at lee at a rapid speed. Having no way of seeing it other than the dust it was picking up he just jumped up into the air avoiding it and played straight into Naruto trap.

Quickly looking down he saw the clones jumping towards him and with no way to dodge quickly blocked one strike but received two more to the stomach which sent him further into the air.

Having momentarily forgetting about the real Naruto he had no way to defend himself against the axe kick he received in the back which sent him rocketing towards the floor.

Quickly standing up lee jumped onto a huge oak tree to avoid the follow up from Naruto's attack. Moving a hand towards his weights and then looking to Gai for the O.K. When he did nod he quickly unclasped them and when they hit the ground they formed craters like the one at the chunin exams except bigger.

Quickly cursing as Naruto realized just how hard this had gotten, he had no time to deactivate his own weights before a fist from lee smashed into his face and then a kick to the back sent him skidding along the floor.

He barely saw lee out of the corner of his eyes and only his quick reactions saved him from a punch that probably would have knocked him out. Quickly standing upright and attempting to deliver an uppercut only for his hand to go through lee, he quickly deduced it as an after image and swore out load when one of lee's fists sent him flying through a tree, creating a dust cloud at the same time.

"Come on Naruto kun, surely this is not the peak of your abilities." Lee goaded, trying to get Naruto to fight better.

His answer was for a fist to smash into his cheek followed by a roundhouse kick to the chest courtesy of our favorite jinchuriki. The two of them quickly engaged in another taijutsu match and lee was finding it hard pressed to keep up with Naruto now that he had deactivated the first level of his gravity seals. Only his spars with Gai at high speeds allowed him to catch the blur of movement that was Naruto and block the punch aimed at his shoulder.

The high speed combat lasted for another minute before Naruto started to wear lee down enough for him to land a solid hook to his kidney causing him to double over in pain, this gave him a chance to flip onto his hands and deliver a mule kick to his chin which sent Lee straight into a tree and into unconsciousness.

"Yosh Naruto kun, your unorthodox style of taijutsu is highly effective and unpredictable! You are most certainly in your springtime of youth!"

"Uh thanks, I guess. Shouldn't we wake lee up?" he asked with a small amount of trepidation.

"No need Naruto kun I am already up and recovering from our most youthful spar!" Shouted the newly awakened lee.

"I have definitely made the best choice for an eternal rival!"

Not wanting to hear any more he quickly shunshined to the Hokage tower remembering he had an appointment, leaving with only a wave.

**With Kakashi and Jiraiya**

Kakashi had just been released from the hospital along with Jiraiya. They had met up at the entrance and Jiraiya had winced when he saw Kakashi in a wheelchair.

"Brighten up Kakashi, they reattached it didn't they? Heck they even managed to restore most of its shape and functions. That's good right? Hehehe..." He said with a nervous chuckle at the end.

"Those _Demons_ at the bathhouses crushed my penis into nothing more than a shapeless lump. I fail to see anything bright about that." He replied with no small amount of loathing for the man in front of him.

"Well I'll give you something to brighten up about! Look at that sign over there." He said with great excitement.

Not seeing any reason not to he did and nearly fell out of his wheel chair. There on the sign was Icha Icha: The Movie! Looking even closer to the sign he noticed that it wasn't being directed by Jiraiya, when his eyes fell upon the name he did fall out of his wheel chair.

The directors name was Naruto Uzumaki.

**Hokages Tower**

Inside the room it was bustling with activity, team mates greeted one another and made small talk with their sensei's until the Hokage silenced them.

"As some of you may know or not know Na-"

She was cut off however when a puff of smoke alerted her to the presence of someone entering the office via shunshin.

When the smoke cleared Naruto stood there looking worse for wear, with slight tears in his clothing and a leaf in his hair.

"Yo, what did I miss?"


	5. To Kumo We Go!

Haven't said this in a while - DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.

A/N Sorry for the late update, but one of my friends just moved to France so me and a couple other of our mates went over there with her to check it out.

Oh yeah and their will be a voting thingy at the bottom so make sure you check it out.

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"Yo, what did I miss?"

Everyone just stared at the newcomer with various reactions, some with happiness, some with shock, some with annoyance and some with impassiveness.

"Wait a minute, who the hell is that?!" came from the back of the room. Everyone just turned to stare at Kiba with flat looks on their face.

"Really Kibble breath, you don't recognize me?" Naruto asked in a dry tone.

"Kibble breath?! Just who the hell are you? I'm gonna-" He threatened until Ino bonked him on the side of the head.

"You idiot it's Naruto!"After the greetings and small talk had passed Tsunade cleared her throat demanding everyone to shut up.

"As some of you may or may not know Akatsuki is on the move again and their targeting the biju and jinchuriki." She said while throwing a quick glance towards Naruto to see what his reaction was, seeing nothing she went on.

"We don't know what they want with them but we cannot let them obtain them. That is why I am sending you out to different countries to help guard them."

"Wait whats a jinchuriki?" Ino asked with uncertainty. Seeing several other heads nod too she quickly filled them in on the details.

"It means 'power of human sacrifice' and it is a person with a biju sealed within them. All of the biju have been sealed and only the Sanbi remains free."

"Wait, all of them? What about the Kyubi? Didn't the fourth beat it?" Inquired Ino with a small amount of fear laced in her words.

"No he did not. What I am about to tell you all is an S-class secret and if mentioned outside of this room is punishable by death. The fourth could not beat an unstoppable force of nature, which is what the Kyubi is, so he did the next best thing and sealed it in a new born child."

"That sounds horrible, why would someone do such a thing?" Sakura asked quite alarmed at what she had learned. But before Tsunade could tell her someone else did.

"Military power. If someone could successfully harness the power of a tailed beast that countries power would increase exponentially." Shino stated in monotone.

"Yes, that's right. Now, onto who will be going where. Shikamaru, Lee and Chouji will be leaving tomorrow for Suna to guard the Kazekage."

"Naruto will accompany Jiraiya to Kumo to check on the container of Nibi's seal apparently it has been giving her some problems, while their you will also guard her and the eight tails jinchuriki a man named killer bee."

"Since we don't know where the sanbi is no one can guard it. "

"Roshi who is the Yonbi jinchuriki, is an old friend of mine and he lives in a cave 2km southwest of Iwa. Neji, Tenten and Gai will stay with him."

"Iwa's other jinchuriki is a missing nin so I'm sending a tracker squad and an ANBU team to locate him and bring him to the village or if he refuses watch over him."

Kiba, Hinata and Shino, you will go to spring country and guard Utakata."

"Ino, Sakura and Kurenai will go and visit Fuu who lives in Kirikagure."

"What about the nine tails jinchuriki? Better yet who is it?" Asked Tenten with apprehension, thinking it could be any one their age and it could even be one of her friends.

Similar thoughts were running through everyone's heads apart from Naruto's and Tsunade's obviously.

"I'm sorry but that is classi-" she was cut off when Naruto help up his hand.

"It's okay Baa chan, they at least deserve to know." Naruto said halting her protest.

"Know what Naruto?" asked Sakura with confusion. Everyone else had also turned to Naruto waiting for an answer.

"The child that the Yondaime used to seal the Kyubi in was also his son, who was born on October the tenth."

"You can't possibly mean..." Sakura trailed off and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Yes. I am the container of the Kyubi no kitsune and the son of Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki." as he finished he looked around the room, gauging everyone's reactions. Some were filled with acceptance and reassurance, some faces were full of awe and admiration and one or two showed pity. Naruto was surprised no one was angry or horrified.

"What, so every one is fine with that? No one is gonna freak out and call me a monster or something?" he asked with slight disbelief.

"Do you really think that low of us, Naruto?" asked Shikamaru in a calm voice.

"Sorry guys its just I would have expected one person to have some sort of problem with it." he said in a happy tone.

"Right, well, anyway you have your assignments. You shall all leave tomorrow at 08:00 hours. Dismissed!"

Everyone who left the office saw Naruto in a different light now that they had learned of his closely guarded secrets they would now never look at him as the class clown or loser ever again.

**With Naruto**

As Naruto walked down the quiet streets, he looked over his last few days In the village and couldn't help but get a slight nose bleed as he remembered some of the events that took place, however he couldn't help but feel as though something big was missing from his memories.

When he had remembered he nearly tripped over his feet in shock, he had had no ramen since he had been back. Quickly taking off down the street he had passed Kakashi, who was finally out of his wheelchair with his book in hand, in a yellow flash.

As he blurred past Kakashi could only stare in shock before he put his book away and took off after him with a slight limp, only one thought in his mind.

'Was that my sensei?!?!'

Although he knew that it was impossible since he was the one that had carried baby Naruto and his dead father figure back to the village gates to the Sandaime and Jiraiya.

When he arrived at the place he saw the Minato lookalike go to, he sweat dropped as he spied the sign: Ichiraku Ramen. Entering the medium sized stall he felt his skin crawl as he saw an exact look alike of his sensei _inhaling _bowls of miso ramen.

As the mysterious figure lifted his head to drain the froth, Kakashi caught sight of his face and a look of understanding crossed his face.

'You look more and more like your father everyday, Naruto'.

Sitting beside the occupied blonde, who was to busy piling up more and more bowls to notice him, he ordered some ramen himself.

"You know" he drawled lazily "all that junk is what stunted your growth when you were younger."

Confused as to who was speaking he turned beside him then started grinning from ear to ear when he saw the trade mark eye smile and mask.

"Sensei! Long time no see! How you doing?"

"Its been a while Naruto, and I've been doing fine. Listen I heard about your mission and Jiraiya has told me you have been working on _that, _please show me it." He said with curiosity and slight desperation.

"Well, I don't know, but since you are my sensei, I guess I could. Follow me." he whispered and sprinted off, but not before paying.

When they arrived at a vacant training ground Naruto asked Kakashi to use his Sharingan to make sure absolutely no one would see them. When the coast was clear Naruto unsealed his sword and akatsuki cloak, while Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"I thought that the kunai that he used were kinda lame so I put a seal on my sword, it works even better in my opinion and not to mention..." he paused for dramatic effect and created a clone and sent it a couple dozen meters away.

When it was far enough away he threw his sword with tremendous force and disappeared in a flash of light and reappeared in front of the clone before pivoting on his heel so his back was facing the clone with his sword protruding from its chest.

"Looks much more bad-ass..." he finished with his cloak fluttering slightly.

Kakashi could only gape at the spectacle he had just witnessed. Naruto Namikaze, the supposed dead last of the academy and class clown, had just recreated the fourths most feared technique.

"Hey Kaka sensei, if you think that's cool, watch this its my ultimate technique and its not even finished yet!"

With his proclamation he told Kakashi to stand far back and created three clones and told them to get in position. He began by creating a normal rasengan and focused on keeping that one stable while clone1 and 2 began to add an element while the final clone focused on the shape manipulation.

"Naruto style: Unity of the elements!"

Kakashi could feel an insane amount of chakra pouring off of Naruto and his eyes widened as he saw the jutsu near completion.

The finished product was amazing, four flaming white hot blades of wind were spinning around an orange tinted rasengan. The noise that it gave off was deafening; it sounded similar to a roaring lion.

If Kakashi was stunned before now he was absolutely gob smacked, I mean who wouldn't be if your student had just surpassed the greatest Hokage of all in more ways than one.

Seeing the look on his sensei's face he stopped feeding chakra to the rasengan and waited for his sensei to say something.

"..."

"..."

"Weellll??" Naruto drawled "What do you think?"

"..."

"Come on say something!?"

"T-th-tha-that was amazing. Not only did you re create the Hiranshin but you actually managed to add elemental chakra to the rasengan! Not even your father could do that, he would be proud of you Naruto."

"Thanks sensei. Oh and before I forget, I got you something no one else has, not even Ero sennin. Hope you like it Kakashi sensei."

Opening up the very small package that seemed to gain an unearthly glow when he finally unwrapped it, he could only stare in absolute amazement at what it contained.

"T-this is an all access pass to the new Icha Icha movie! How on earth did you..." he stopped mid sentence and stared at Naruto for a few moments as if trying to re call something.

"What? Is there something on my face?" Naruto asked looking for some dirt or something.

"Y-y-you!" he pointed as if accusing him of something. Naruto was starting to get scared now Kakashi looked very serious.

"Y-you direct the new Icha Icha movie!" he shouted with huge sparkling eyes and seem to produce a _**lot **_of Icha Icha memorabilia and a pen.

Naruto just sweat dropped.

**The Next Day**

Every one that was going on the mission was gathered at the north gate making small talk while they were waiting patiently for the signal from the Hokage so they could go.

"Right, does everyone know where they are going? It wouldn't do well to get lost." when she received a chorus of 'yes Hokage sama' or in a particular case 'yeah,yeah Tsunade baa chan we know, just send us off already'.

Quickly growing annoyed she did just that so she didn't end up killing him. She brought her hand up high in the air and waited for a moment.

"Hey gaki, remember they are after you too. So be careful and come back home safely." the pleading was clearly visible in her eyes.

"Heh don't worry baa chan, I'll wipe those bastards off the face of the earth. Its a promise of a lifetime." he grinned cockily.

She just shook her head and threw her hand down and everyone scattered from the gate towards their destinations, one never to step foot in the village again.

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**A/N** Again I'm sorry for the late update and I apologize.

Well anyway when I was thinking about further ahead in the story I was wondering if I should give Naruto a solid pairing leave him as he is; no one to really love him, just a couple of fuck buddies. Well anyways I'll let you guts decide and the choices for the pairing are-

Female Kyubi

Fuu ( seven tailed jinchuriki )

Yugito Nii ( two tailed jinchuriki )

Konan

Samui

Or Karui

I want to have a pairing that isn't used much, so please leave your choice in a review or P.M me I don't really care just be sure to review.


	6. When Snakes Strike

Someone in a review suggested the Godaime Mizukage and decided to add it because I liked the idea. Okay so the pairing results are as follows-

Female Kyubi- 4

Fuu ( seven tailed jinchuriki )- 7

Yugito Nii ( two tailed jinchuriki )- 5

Konan- 4

Samui - 7

Karui- 3

Godaime Mizukage- 1

Right now that's what it looks like and because I have just added the Godaime Mizukage I'm going to leave it open for another chapter or so.

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**Five days after the departure to Kumo**

All was quiet on the outskirts of the massive forests of Konoha. No loud sounds could be heard, only the birds tweeting and the occasional forest critter scampering across the ground. Life seemed peaceful for Jiraiya and Naruto who were only four days away from Kumokagure.

There was one thing that was bothering Naruto though, every couple of seconds he would feel a pull from his akatsuki rings.

"Hey sensei, the rings are pulsing again, should I go and piss about with them for a bit? Its a lot of fun I wonder if I -"

Before he could get any further there was a stronger pull and he felt himself collapse before he opened his eyes in some sort of dark cave.

"Ahhh, its great to see you guys again. How have you been?" Naruto asked the other five shadowed figures and the two people who were sitting at a large table.

"Fuck you you damn brat, when I get my hands on you Jashin shall bathe in your blood!" someone with a giant three bladed scythe screamed.

"Yeah, me and Samehada are going to carve you up nicely brat and when we've finished extracting the demon I'm going to hang you from my wall!" A sharp row of teeth were revealed when he smiled.

"You will do no such thing, he has worked up a nice bounty for himself and I will collect it." stated someone with a gruff voice.

The three started bickering amongst themselves until they realized that the kid had moved over to the only female of the group and was leaning on the table while hitting on her.

"Sooo you know when this whole 'take over the world' thing has blown over, why don't we hook up?" he could feel all the other members eyes trying to melt his head with their glares as he offered her a dazzling smile that made her blush much to the anger of everyone else.

"ENOUGH! Why must you prolong the inevitable? Just come to us and we will make sure the extraction is painless." the leader stated in his usual monotone but you could see annoyance and jealousy in his eyes when Naruto was hitting on Konan.

"Really? You could do that for me?" Naruto asked in fake curiosity, how he loved winding these guys up. Everyone just turned to him with shocked faces, not knowing it was an act.

"Y-yes it would, I promise you that." Never in a million years did Pein think it would be this easy neither did Madara.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAH! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACES!" He couldn't help himself from laughing now and to add insult to injury his image went over to Konan again and gave a firm squeeze of her right breast as his image faded from existence.

When he left the room everyone turned to the leader who was shaking in rage and releasing unnatural amounts of murderous intent.

"When you find him," he started slowly " I want you to beat him within an inch of his life and drag him back so his face grates along the floor as you do so."

**Back with his real body**

After explaining the events of what happened in the cave to Jiraiya and getting scolded for messing about with S-class criminals, they decided to call it a night and were about to camp out when they heard something that stopped them in their tracks.

"Kukukukukku, why if it isn't my old team mate and Naruto kun out on a stroll in the countryside." both of the aforementioned stopped in their tracks when they heard that, that voice that was so infuriating could only belong to one person.

"Orochimaru!" Naruto snarled whipping out his sword and spinning around to greet his foe.

Hearing a low whizzing noise behind him he rolled to the left to avoid three shuriken and then jumped upwards to avoid a slash that would have decapitated him.

Landing on a tree branch he glared at Kabuto while Jiraiya rushed Orochimaru who led him into another clearing most likely to cut him off from helping him.

"Don't forget us Naruto kun." Kabuto offered a fake smile with his statement.

"Its been a while, Naruto." Naruto's glare lessened slightly when he turned to face Sasuke who stood with an air of impassiveness around him.

"Yeah it has." he had not forgotten about his promise and he was still going to keep it. He had to try; he couldn't let Sakura down who was still clearly in love with him.

To both Sasuke's and Kabuto's surprise it was Naruto who went on the offensive first as he settled into an offensive stance and quickly disappeared from view.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan while Kabuto drew two kunais from his holster on his left thigh and he had to put them to use immediately after drawing them, quickly blocking a downward slash and parrying the following upwards slash. Being caught wrong footed after a particularly powerful overhead strike he couldn't defend himself against the knee to the face or the kick to the chest which sent him reeling backwards.

While this was going on Sasuke was preparing to unleash a volley of fireballs upon Naruto the moment Kabuto got out the way, seeing his comrade get kicked away he quickly unleashed a dozen of them straight towards Naruto with a cry of "Katon Housenka no Jutsu!"

Naruto hearing the jutsu be called out quickly ran through some seals of his own, "Suiton Teppoudama!" The Jutsu's canceled each other out and a small layer of mist settled within the area.

Naruto cursed as Sasuke had just gained an advantage over him. Throughout the mist he could hear Sasuke's emotionless voice call out to him.

"On that day Naruto I spared your life on a whim, today I will end it to receive the means to achieve my revenge."

Sasuke expected Naruto to scream out in rage or demand him to come back, not for him to laugh at him.

"You don't get it do you Sasuke?"

"Get what?" he growled

"After you kill your brother what will you do?"

Sasuke was growing impatient with Naruto now, what was with all of the constant questions?

"I will restore my clan and lay my parents soul to rest."

"Then where will you go?"

"I don't care, as long as I achieve my revenge I can be happy and settle down and that place will not be konoha. Now shut up and fight!"

They both sprinted forward and clashed swords with each other in the middle of the mist, this fight would decide influence one in a way that would forever change the world.

**With Jiraiya**

"What are you up to Orochimaru? Why did you just show up?" he demanded while blocking a high kick aimed at his head.

"Patience Jiraiya, you shall know soon enough." although he didn't show it Orochimaru was extremely annoyed, his damnable teammate was still in good enough shape to keep him to a standstill.

Deciding to step up the game a bit he formulated a plan then did some hand seals and finished on Tora.

"Katon Karyuu Endan." Soon after he blew out his humongous flame dragon he jumped up into the air and as he had predicted so did Jiraiya and he delivered a heel kick straight to the toad sages shoulder but before Jiraiya could crash into the earth Orochimaru grabbed a hold of his leg with his tongue and swung him around round through a few trees before slamming him into the earth with a resounding 'BOOM'.

Jiraiya slowly got out of the mini crater he had formed when he it the earth and glared at the snake sannin who was only a few feet away. When he got up he gave no warning and charged straight at Orochimaru who was a little surprised that he got up so soon.

Having no time to raise a proper guard he couldn't stop the jab to the face or the uppercut to the chin which sent him into the air and the kick to the abdomen that followed it up. He twisted his head and saw Jiraiya preparing a chakra infused punch that would more than likely break a bone or two, however years of experimentation on himself had payed off and he twisted his body in a way no human could ever hope to match allowing Jiraiya's punch to harmlessly sail past him.

Touching the ground he performed a set of hand seals and then slammed them onto the floor with a cry of "_Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_

_When the smoke cleared Manda was their hissing at Orochimaru demanding sacrifices or something but Jiraiya couldn't quite hear as he summoned Gamabuta while the two argued._

_Manda suddenly noticing the appearance of another summon on the field hissed violently and lunged towards the toad duo._

_"Bunta go up!" the aforementioned toad just grunted out a response and drew his tanto while leaping up in the air. _

Orochimaru suddenly smirked as a plan formed in his head ( whoops there goes another babies orphanage) if it worked it would give him the upper hand.

Jiraiya seeing that smirk shivered slightly as he and Gamabuta prepared themselves while they descended, nothing could could ever come with someone with a smile like that on their face.

He would find out soon enough and he would not like it one bit.

**With Naruto**

He and Sasuke had been trading blows for about half an hour now and their swords had been discarded 10 minutes ago because neither of them could gain the upper hand.

Although both had various injuries, Sasuke had multiple gashes on both arms and Naruto had a new Chidori wound in his right shoulder that would take a day or two to heal

Naruto had tried multiple times to use the Hiranshin on Sasuke but the ebony haired teen did not give him the chance to even attempt it. Jumping backwards onto a tree branch after dodging a fast round house kick Naruto made three clones to occupy Sasuke while he set about removing the gravity seals.

Seeing the three clones rush at him he decided to humor Naruto to make the fight more interesting. Ducking under a high kick aimed at his head and jumping over a low kick that followed it he caught one of the clones in the chin while doing a back flip. The clones seeing one of their own get taken down began to attack in perfect synchronization causing Sasuke to go on the defensive.

Blocking a punch aimed at his temple and catching the fist aimed at his gut he twisted his body and the clones fell past him and onto the forest floor. The clones then began to try a pincer maneuver but they only got within a few feet of him before Sasuke calmly spoke two words that caused the clones to dispel.

"Chidori Nagashi." the lightning soared across his body and connected with both clones once they both within range.

"Took you long enough." Naruto said in a slightly mocking voice. He spun around to face Naruto and insult him but Sasuke was caught flat footed as Naruto was suddenly in front of him, fist burying itself in the pale teens stomach.

"My my Naruto kun, You forgot that you were fighting more than one enemy."

A jarring strike smashed into the side of Naruto's head, sending the boy flying into the ground. Quickly getting to his feet, he looked up to find Kabuto standing there the bruises on his face already healed, but that was not the only change.

"Well shit..."

Standing in front of him was Sasuke and Kabuto both in cursed seal level 2, but what made it worse was the scream of his sensei from a couple hundred meters away. Sasuke and Kabuto also hearing the scream dropped their cursed seal forms and backed off a bit, their jobs of having to stall Naruto being completed.

"We _will_ finish this some other time Naruto."

Forgetting about his adversaries he charged straight to the source of the scream and what he saw would forever be etched into his memories.

**With Jiraiya 5 minutes earlier**

Orochimaru and Jiraiya had been firing off Jutsu's from the top of their respective summons heads, neither gaining the upper hand. Both Manda and Gamabuta had been ferociously attacking one another trying to give their summoner the advantage.

"Manda it's time, don't fuck this up or their will be no sacrifices!" screamed Orochimaru, everything had to be timed perfect or it would fail and he would most certainly die.

"Remember who you are talking to you ins-s-s-s-solent worm!" Manda hissed, clearly annoyed that some worthless _human_ would dare order him about. Orochimaru not wanting to antagonize his summon further chose to remain silent.

"Okay lets start." jiraiya who had been silent throughout the display prepared himself and had a few words with Gamabuta.

"Okay Bunta this is it, get ready."

"Remember, pervert, 80 bottles of sake for my services!" Jiraiya just nodded while crying silent tears of sadness, that would put a huge dent in his savings.

It was at that moment when Manda launched his summoner a couple of hundred meters in the air while he hid underground and made his way over to the toad duo.

While in the air Orochimaru created three kage bunshins and all four of them began their own separate seals.

"Suiton Daibakufu no Jutsu!"

"Suiton Bakusui Shouha no Jutsu!"

"Doton Doriyuudan no Jutsu!"

"Katon Karyuudan no Jutsu!"

Having used up all of the chakra provided to them they poofed out of existence as Orochimaru began his free fall down to earth, although it was slowed somewhat as he used a wind jutsu to slow his descent.

Jiraiya seeing all of these high level Jutsu's coming towards him was about to tell the toad boss to jump out of the way when Manda sprung from the earth and bit into Gamabunta's shoulder thus trapping them in place.

"AHH! Damn it Jiraiya I cant move!"

"Shit! Bunta give me all the oil you can and fire it at those Jutsu's!"

Compiling with the old sages request his chest puffed out to incredible levels and he blew out an enormous amount of oil, allowing Jiraiya to infuse what little wind Jutsu's he knew into a flame dragon trying to power up the technique how ever he could.

He succeeded in his efforts as he canceled out the other techniques and caused Manda to back off while ripping a chunk of toad flesh from Gamabuta earning him a slash across his left eye, before both summons popped back to the summon realm.

Seeing as his summon had disappeared Jiraiya dropped to the floor and collapsed to the ground his chakra depleted to dangerous levels. He looked up to see Orochimaru land gracefully on his feet and gave him a furious glare that would have scared even the hardest of veterans.

But alas Orochimaru was not deterred in the least and advanced onto him slowly as to try and scare him. Seeing that his fear tactics weren't working he picked up up jiraiya by his hair earning him a grunt of pain.

"Well well what do we have here? Kukukukuku you have no idea how long I've waited to do this." with a sickening grin he chucked Jiraiya towards a tree and threw two kunai after him with deadly precision.

The kunais impacted just as he had knew they would and pinned Jiraiya to the tree, effectively crucifying him, again earning him gasp of pain and a pathetic glare.

"Look at the great toad sage now, all helpless and left to my mercy. Let me hear you scream!" he advanced on him and pulled kusangi from his mouth.

Standing over Jiraiya he kneed him in the face breaking his nose then punched him and smiled when he heard two sickening crunches that indicated he had broken two ribs. The toad sage just coughed and wheezed, adamant in not showing the sick bastard pain like he wanted. He glared at him with blood running down his face and spat in his tormentors face.

Orochimaru responded by picking him up by his neck, with the blades still impaled in his hands, he ripped him away from the tree and tossed him into the air while pouring chakra into kusangi extending its reach.

Jiraiya saw it coming but could do nothing to stop it apart from slightly tilt his body so it wouldn't impale his heart. The blade ran through him with a 'squelch' and kept him suspended in mid air. This time he couldn't help the scream that escaped his dry throat.

Orochimaru stopped feeding chakra to his blade letting his former teammate fall, his leg hitting the floor awkwardly and the bone jutting out the side with an audible 'snap'.

The snake sannin just picked him up by his throat and kept him suspended in mid air so he could stab him and finishing him off.

"NOOOO!"

The loud shout had startled him and he missed Jiraiya's heart and hit his lung. The sannin would die either way he reasoned, after all the boy did not know medical ninjutsu.

This was the scene that Naruto came across and he forgot all his training about keeping his negative emotions in check. He let out a guttural roar as he summoned all the chakra he could and launched himself at Orochimaru, fully intent on saving his master before it was too late.

Hearing the roar from his left Orochimaru turned in time to scream as his sword wielding arm was severed from the elbow down. Quickly seeing his situation he decided upon a tactical retreat as the boy tended to his fallen master.

As he melted into the ground Naruto sent him a glare that made him flinch and he barely caught the words he had spoken.

"You had better run, because when I find you not even the gods will stop me from the pain I will inflict upon you."

As he returned back to Oto he found himself replaying the words Naruto had spoken to him. What was going on with him he was immortal right? What did he have to be scared of?

Looking down at his severed arm he realized he was going to have to transfer bodies sooner than he had anticipated. Smirking as he called in Sasuke he didn't see the glint in Sasuke's eyes or the way his hand was clutched to his sword.

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Sorry but this chapter is a mess, I kept adding and taking things away so if it gets a little confusing or something bare with me please. I've already started the next chapter and it should be out in two days or so.

Be sure to review and vote for the pairing.


	7. Death Of The Super Pervert

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto.

The results for the pairing is in and the winner is... SAMUI with 14 votes followed closely by Fuu who had 13.

WARNING – I suck at sentimental scenes...

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**With Naruto**

After Orochimaru had ran for it Naruto had instantly checked for a pulse, then upon finding one issued what little medical ninjutsu he knew to try and stabilize his fallen sensei's condition. Having done all he could Naruto summoned a toad that specialized in covering a lot of distance in a short amount of time and had immediately climbed on top of the toad that was about the size of an elephant, while clinging onto his god father so he wouldn't fall.

"Quick Gama san, we need to get to Kumo as fast as possible! Jiraiya has been seriously injured and he might not make it!"

"You got it kid, hold on!" replied the toad before it rocketed off at speeds few shinobi could match. Taking gigantic leap after leap Naruto was hard pressed not to fall of while using chakra and hanging onto the unmoving form of his mentor.

The toad traveled for a day straight and gave a final massive jump before dispelling; with all of it's chakra having been used up. Naruto wasted no time in securing Jiraiya before he took off in a full on sprint across the rocky flatland's and slowly but steadily rising mounds of earth that signaled the mountain Kumo was situated on was near.

He sprinted for hours before the signs of exhaustion were beginning to show but that only made him push on faster, knowing that his father figures life rested in his hands.

It didn't take long with his amazing speed to reach the enormous mountain that Kumo resided upon. He didn't even blink as he continued his sprint up the side of the mountain using chakra to enhance the muscles in his legs to make him go faster as well as stick to the side with chakra.

**Top Of The Mountain**

It was another lackluster day for team Samui, having been given guard duty for the fourth time in a week. Sometimes being amongst the most powerful shinobi in the village was not necessarily a good thing as the three soon learned.

It certainly didn't help with Samui complaining about back pains and Omoi thinking about all the possibilities of what would happen if he didn't get some action soon.

His prayers were soon answered when a black blur came flying over the top of the mountain and clearing the village gates in one leap.

"What the fuck was that?!" yelled the most impatient of the group: Karui. She received no reply however as Samui soon took charge and barked out orders.

"You two wait here, I'll go check it out!"

Quickly following the blurs path of leaping over the gate she gave chase in the direction she assumed the figure had went in, which was the way to the Raikage's tower.

**With Naruto**

He had quickly cleared the mountain, which would have taken a day and half going at at normal walking speed, and passed the guards that looked shocked by his sudden appearance. If it were any other situation he would have stopped to hit on the two woman there as they were admittedly very hot, but seeing as it wasn't any other situation he leapt over the gate and blurred past the confused civilians and shinobi alike who littered the streets.

Closing in on the large tower at the far end of the village with frightening pace he prayed for his passenger to hang on for a few more minutes. Glancing backwards slightly he noticed the Kumo special forces trying to keep up with him and failing miserably.

Charging as much chakra to his legs as possible he leapt up the tower hoping someone could save one of the most precious people in his life.

**In The Raikage's Office**

Everything was as it should be in the tower, quiet and boring. The Raikage sat in his chair mulling through the countless, pointless and ever growing documents.

Suddenly an obscured figure smashed through his office window and skidded along the floor, somehow managing to stay on his feet, before dropping down to his knees.

"P-please help him, he's dying." he wheezed as he collapsed and Jiraiya rolled off of his back showing his identity to the lightning kage. Somewhat shocked as he recognized the injured person immediately, who the hell could put Jiraiya of the sannin in this condition?

Deciding to get answers later he was about to call for a medic when his brothers student burst through the door. Whatever she was about to say was stuck in her throat when she noticed the figures on the floor. She was snapped out of her confusion when her leader yelled at her.

"Samui! Clear my desk and asses this ninjas injuries!"

"But Raikage sama, they could be the enemy they broke into the village!" she protested, but was cut off by his fist slamming into the wall.

"DAMMIT WOMAN THAT IS AN ORDER!" he roared, every second wasted was another second Jiraiya was closer to succumbing to his injuries.

Recoiling in shock for a moment she snapped out of her shocked stupor and immediately sprung into 'medic mode', doing diagnostic scans among other medical techniques.

Half an hour had passed and the Raikage had took both konoha shinobi to the hospital which was conveniently placed right next to the tower. It didn't take long for Naruto to wake up and assault the leader of Kumo with questions about his godfather.

"Calm down, boy. I don't know how he is at the moment but when you smashed through my office window he was on deaths door, one of my top medics is on the case as we speak."

That statement calmed Naruto down a little bit but it did nothing to ease the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. Pushing that aside he attempted to stand up and wobbled slightly before grabbing onto a nearby wall for support.

"You really shouldn't be out of bed kid, the amount of strain you put your legs through was insane. Now I have some questions I need answered so get back into bed." complying with the massive man in front of him he got into bed and awaited the questions he was going to have to answer.

They were about to begin when Naruto noticed the four very faint sources of chakra in each corner of the room. He jerked his head to the corner and the Raikage caught onto the message he was trying to get across.

"Wait outside of the door, all of you, do not allow anyone in this room under any circumstances do you understand me?" he stated "Apart from Samui, if she brings news of Jiraiya." he added as an afterthought.

Seeing the ANBU leave he allowed him self to relax again and once again waited for the kage to begin.

"Now" he began "Who are you?"

"Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze." he answered simply, he couldn't afford to lie and get caught out otherwise it would put Jiraiya in more trouble he was already in.

"Okay, oka- WHHAATTT?!?! Namikaze as in _Minato Namikaze, konoha's yellow __flash_?!?!" he yelled out in disbelief after finally taking in the boys features. He was a carbon copy of the the fourth Hokage and could have been his twin were it not for the whisker like marks on his cheeks.

"Yes, I am the son of the Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki."

"..." the leader of Kumo was gobsmacked. Its not every day that the son of one of the most powerful men in the world smashes through your office window after all.

"Is that all? I have to go and see my sensei." the blonde asked clearly irritated by being kept here.

"Yes it- I MEAN NO! No it isn't I still have some questions, and watch your tone brat."

"Well can we hurry this along please Raikage sama, I need to see him."

Grumbling about kids and their lack of respect he continued with his questions until he felt his need for answers lessen. He was alarmed when he learnt that it was the kid in front of him that the Hokage had sent to deal with Yugito's seal. He was even more surprised when Naruto had proclaimed to be a seals master on a higher level than Jiraiya.

He was about to say something else when he heard someone come through the door, turning around he was about to punch said person through the wall and then use them to beat the shit out of the ANBU outside for going against his orders. He didn't though when he saw it was Samui her gown covered with splashes of blood.

Seeing that she was signaling for him to follow her he did but before he closed the door behind him he told Naruto he would only be about two minutes.

"H-he's dying?!" he hissed quietly "How? He is nigh fucking unbeatable, even I could not walk into a battle with him and be sure to come out as the victor!"

"His injuries were severe, not even we could save him. He had a fractured skull, four broken ribs, a broken shoulder, a poison in his blood that is shutting down his bodily functions, a punctured lung, the bone in his left leg had shattered and he had 103 STD's and STI's, 27 of which we had never seen before. Its a miracle he was even alive when he got here, but he wont make it through the night. He is awake and he would like to see the boy." Finishing off her report she looked towards the blonde who was patiently sitting on the bed reading something in an orange cover, but she couldn't see what.

Walking back into the room with his brothers student accompanying him he quickly explained the situation to the whiskered jinchuriki sitting on the bed.

"D-dying?" he quivered "No no no no no he cant be dying! Let me see him!" Naruto demanded.

"Calm yourself boy!" shouted the giant man.

"I SAID LET M**E SEE HIM!**" releasing a bit of Kyubi's chakra in the end, changing his eye color and deepening his voice as well as drastically increasing the amount of killer intent he was releasing, it was enough to make both occupants of the room back away in shock and a little bit of fear.

"Listen boy, you really need to calm yourself down. Well let you see him, just calm down." hearing that Naruto's features returned to normal and he got out of bed and hobbled over to the door awaiting the two to lead him to Jiraiya's room. Seeing his wobbly legs the kage was about to support him when Samui beat him to it.

"Thanks miss..." he began but realized he didn't know her name.

"Samui, my name is Samui." she told him coldly making Naruto shiver a little.

The group of three walked to their destination in near silence, th only sound was their feet hitting the floor and their breathing.

Meanwhile inside of his head Naruto was praying to kami that the doctors had gotten it wrong and that he would make a full recovery. Excluding konoha, Kumo had the best healers of the lands. They should be able to patch him up in no time right?

Wrong.

When Naruto entered the room he just turned his head the other way, he couldn't bear to look at his sensei this way. He should be up and running about hitting on the doctors, only to be punched in the face for his perverseness. That's what he should be doing.

But alas it was not to be. Jiraiya was lying in bed with countless monitors hooked up to him and various tubes sticking out of him. Not to mention he looked a bit like a mummy with all the bandages and casts on his upper body and legs.

Naruto detached himself from Samui as she stood off to the side with the Raikage and hobbled over to the bedside, taking the vacant seat that was left there fro some reason or another.

"H-hey there you old pervert," he tried to look and sound happy but he knew he was failing miserably. "bastards got us good didn't they?"

"Brat I told you not to call me that, I'm not old." he said indignantly, swatting at him weakly. Naruto sweat dropped slightly as he didn't deny being a pervert, the two talked for what seemed like hours about non important stuff like breasts and who had the biggest until jiraiya got serious.

"Listen kid, I know I ain't got long left so hear me out would ya?" seeing his apprentice nod slightly he continued with what would probably be his last words.

"In about four months a toad will summon itself in front of you, its a high up toad so be respectful brat, it will take you for your premonition and to begin your sage training. Its tough so don't moan and complain cos when its over you will be more powerful than you can imagine. The spy network you've already met and they seem to respect you so I don't think you're gonna have any trouble with those guys. " he explained in a slightly raspy voice.

"I got it. Be respectful, get more powerful and take on spy network." he repeated to Jiraiya with slightly tearful eyes.

"Well now that business is outta the way I got something else I gotta tell ya brat.-**cough-** Don't interrupt me just listen cos these will probably be my last words, got it?" Nodding slightly at his request Naruto now had tears openly running down his face.

"Good, now, after your father died I swore to myself that I was never going to take up another apprentice cos I couldn't take losing another one, he was like the son I never had you know? But when I saw you training **-cough cough**- on that hot spring, interrupting important research by the way brat, I nearly lost it. You looked so much like him it was painful and that's when I finally realized who you were, training just like him without abandon -**cough**- I couldn't stop myself and before I knew it I was teaching you how to walk on water properly. That day -**cough cough- **nor you or I had realized it then but you had somehow wormed your way into my heart and I had accepted you as my apprentice. Then during the end of our travels when you had successfully incorporated two elements into the rasengan you had long since passed your father and me.-**cough cough cough-** I knew when you completed the sage training no one on earth save about two to three people would be able to stand up to you. Damn I never was the -**cough**- sentimental type, but what I'm trying to say brat is that you have made this old mans last few years on earth some of the happiest times of his life. Hmm it would seem as if do do see a white light as your dying and -WHOA! Kami is a total babe, I wish you could see her kid. Looks like my time is up, goodbye Naruto."

Naruto openly wailed as he watched the light leave his godfathers eyes, he felt absolutely helpless and he hated it.

That night the great Gama Sannin died but with him a part of Naruto also died. 


	8. What happens in Kumo

DISCLAIMER- I don't own Naruto and I ain't gonna say it again.

So now the pairing for this story is NarutoxSamui since there are only about three or four stories with her as a pairing for Naruto and I _might _add Kyubi cos I like that pairing. I didn't want to to a big harem because I would probably fuck it up really badly.

About the long wait for this chapter ….

Enjoy the next chapter.

_**Read the authors not at the bottom its important.**_

Naruto had been wallowing inside of his hotel room for two days now and only left to go and eat at the local ramen stand. He had already sent a letter to Tsunade explaining what had happened and was nervously waiting for a reply, he really didn't know how she would take it.

If all went well Tsunade wouldn't flip out and destroy the city but he didn't really know. He had told her in the letter how it was a tradition for the toad sages to have their bodies buried atop Mt. Myobokuzan and that the toads would be willing to bring a few people along with them to watch the ceremony. It wouldn't be held for another few days while the toads prepared everything.

Today he was supposed to wait to be escorted by someone so he could go and check on Yugito's seal but with Jiraiya's passing Naruto didn't really feel like doing anything. The Raikage had kindly given him this room free of charge and he was allowed to stay as long as he liked.

He had been absentmindedly polishing his sword and replaying the moments he had spent with Jiraiya over and over in his head, often smiling when he came upon the fonder memories of him. Even the Kyubi had allowed him some time to grieve and he didn't have to go down to the seal until next week.

He had summoned some toads to explain the situation to them and he was slightly surprised when they told him they already knew. Apparently his name had disappeared as soon as he had passed on and now he was the only one who could summon toads.

He was broken out of his thoughts by a knock at the door, when he walked to the door and was about to turn the handle he was expecting it to be his escort so wasn't prepared for the Katana that was thrusted through the door and through his left shoulder. His eyes went wide with shock and he was thrown to the floor when his assailants kicked the door down.

Still on the floor he got a good look at his attackers when they charged in and pushed the sword, which was still imbedded in his shoulder, through the floor. He narrowed his eyes with fury when he noticed the sound symbol on the headbands, both were dressed in black from head to toe with the only spot being visible were the holes for the eyes to see out of.

His eyes flickered from red to blue as Orochimaru flashed through his mind, although he quickly got a hold of his emotions before he did something stupid.

Not allowing the other attacker to get near him he swung his foot upwards and caught the assassin in the chin although the action caused the Katana to slice into his flesh a bit more. Ignoring the pain he ripped it out and rolled over just in time to avoid a kunai that was thrust into his heads previous position.

Jumping to his feet he jumped upwards to avoid a slash from the one he kicked before and in a display of extreme acrobatics spun around in mid air and let the sword he was holding fly straight into one of the assailants throats. He smiled slightly when he saw the look of helplessness and shock flash through his eyes as he slumped to the floor unmoving.

He didn't waste time in rushing the other attacker and plowing his fist into his face promptly sending him flying into a wall. Before he could even get up Naruto kneed him as hard as he could in the face, grinning some more when he heard the nose snap under the force.

The blondes eyes flickered red as he picked him up and threw him across the room and into a wall with such force that he cracked it. The sound ninja didn't even touch the floor as Naruto cleared the distance and grabbed him by the throat effectively keeping him on the wall.

"How about we play a little game sound scum? I know how about a round 20 questions." the last part wasn't a question and if the ninja was smart he would have just cooperated, but that wasn't the case.

"Fuck you." he spat, apparently Naruto didn't want to hear that as he headbutted the sound ninja in the face and smashed him through a window and dangled him there.

"We hadn't started yet, had we? Also I'm flattered by the offer but I don't swing that way, now we will try again." he told the dangling ningen in a slightly mocking voice as he watched as the shinobi in his grasp hold his even worse broken nose.

"Where is Orochimaru?" he asked simply. The ninja just started laughing in response as if what Naruto had said was the funniest thing in the world.

"As if I would tell you!" he continued laughing for another five seconds before Naruto broke two of his fingers with his free hand and he screamed out in pain.

"I am sorry but that was the wrong answer, please try again." he did all of this with a polite smile on his face as if he wasn't torturing someone for information, he did as though he was only greeting a friend.

The torture continued for another half an hour before the ninja had told him everything he knew about the snake sannin and his multiple bases. Naruto was about to kill him when his escort chose that moment to run through the space his door once occupied.

"What the hell- PUT HIM DOWN!" Samui screamed obviously not seeing the headbands. All she saw was Naruto dangling some unknown ninja from a window.

"Okay, but that was probably a bad choice of words." he replied and before she could ask what he meant Naruto dropped the sound ninja out the window and down 20 stories. Samui ran to the window in a vain attempt to catch him but it was all for naught as he plummeted to the earth.

**Down on the floor**

"YES I'm THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WORLD, YAHOOO! I WON I WON I WON!" someone shouted as he ran out of a shop clutching a scratchcard in his hand.

"YES YES YES YE- UGHHH!" To the people on the floor they didn't know what was happening. Some asshole just burst out of a shop jumping and cheering like a lunatic when some guy dressed in black falls on him and they both fall off of the cliff side. They all just gathered around they place where they fell off.

Amazingly he was still alive, although the ninja was dead.

"S-someone pl-please help me."

They stood mumbling for a few minutes about helping him or not when somebody suddenly said, "Damn the scratchcard fell off with him." Everybody else murmured in disappointment and slowly filtered away down the busy streets to continue with their lives.

"I-is anyone there? P-please hurry I think I can hear a pack of wolves!"

**Back with Naruto**

"WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM!?" Naruto winced at the volume at which she screamed at him, it could have rivaled Sakura back at the academy.

"What? I did as you asked and put him down plus I had already got what I needed to know out of him. Besides I will kill any and all sound ninja that cross my path." he finished his deceleration with an icy glare that sent shivers down her spine, she had no problem believing him when he put it like that.

"T-that's not- Wait a minute did you say sound ninja?" seeing his nod she went over to inspect the fallen ninja's headband and sure enough a musical note was printed on a slab of metal on his mask.

"Well I suppose your actions were somewhat justified but Raikage sama wont be happy that your throwing enemy ninja about like rag dolls. Now, hurry up you have to sort out Yugito's seal." she added leaving the room. Naruto just grabbed his sword from the bed and followed wordlessly after her.

It was five minutes after they had left the hotel that Naruto decided to try and start up some sort of conversation.

"Soooo what exactly is wrong with Yugito miss..." he trailed off as he realized he didn't know her name.

"My name is Samui and we don't exactly know although it is unwise to send men in there with her as she attacks them all." she replied without even glancing in his direction.

"Uhhh in case you hadn't noticed I'm a guy."

"Really" she drawled sarcastically. "I had no idea."

Before Naruto could come out with a witty comeback Samui stopped walking in front of a pair of huge double doors with various seals he noted. He watched silently as she went through seven hand seals and touched the door before pulling them open with ease.

Naruto hadn't noticed it before but Samui's breasts were huge, they could easily be compared to Tsunade's which was a feat itself. In Naruto's travels he had seen only one or maybe two people with boobs any where near as big as Tsunade's and they were still smaller. How the fuck could he have missed those? It looked as though she kept small round children inside of her shirt for gods sake.

"Well good luck." she quickly pushed Naruto in and slammed the door shut.

"What the fuck?!" Naruto turned around in the surprisingly well lit room as his eyes landed on the only other occupant in the room.

She looked older than him by about three or four years, about twenty years old he guessed. She was tall, maybe 6'2 or 6'3 and had long pale blonde hair that was wrapped in a long ponytail that ran all the way down to her nicely shaped ass. Her breasts were a solid D-cup and were hid behind her short sleeved black and purple T-shirt that flaunted her toned stomach, she also had bandages wrapped around her hands and all the way up to her elbow. Her long, slender legs were also hidden behind a non descriptive pair of black khaki pants that were held up by a purple sash. She wore standard shinobi sandals on her feet.

"Hehe sorry to intrude like this but are you by any chance the jinchuriki of the Nibi?"

"Yes and who the _fuck_ are you!?" She screeched while Naruto covered his ears with his hands.

"Wow," he muttered while casually picking at ear "Who pissed on your oatmeal?"

Apparently Naruto forgot to take in Yugito's sensitive hearing, not that he would of known anyway, and his little comment didn't sit well with her at all. In fact she was so pissed off by his comment that she flung herself at him, her eyes glowing with righteous fury.

"YOUR DEAD YOU STUPID BLONDE BASTARD! YOU HEAR ME?! DEAD!" she screamed as she chased him around the well lit room.

"Well I don't very much care for you either." he replied, but probably should of stopped as her eyes became yellow and slitted.

After about 2 hours off sprinting after him she finally collapsed to her hands and knees before collapsing onto her stomach, completely out of breath. So physically and mentally exhausted in dealing with the annoying blonde she could not be bothered to do much more than weakly groan when he sat on her back.

"Just so you know, I wont be inviting you to my next birthday party." he drawled only slightly winded by all of the physical activity.

"Well I've probably wasted enough time as it is. Time to get on with what I came to do." he muttered as he picked her up and took her to the small bed that was in the room, while _accidentally _grabbing her breast at the same time. Hearing her small moan he inwardly grinned and lay her on the bed before lifting up her shirt.

This action however caused Yugito to grab his hand and hiss at him.

"Don't worry I'm just checking your seal, I'm the seals expert from konoha." he explained. Her grip lessened a bit and she turned her head away clearly embarrassed that he was nearly undressing her.

Naruto frowned as he saw nothing wrong with the seal itself other than the fact that it was pulsing slightly.

"Yugito chan," he said slowly" please watch my body." that was the only warning she got as he performed 3 hand seals and whispered:

"**S****eishin** K**isai."**** (Literally 'mind entry') before he seemingly slumped into unconsciousness.**

******Inside the seal **

**Inside the seal Naruto was surprised to see that it looked like an ordinary ****home but much bigger I mean seriously there was a food bowl next to him and he could barely see what was inside of it. Wandering further in Naruto stopped at a locked door that had a bolt lock on it. He undid the lock, curious as to what was inside. He opened the door, with a great deal of effort as it was nearly 100 times the size of him and stood completely still with wide eyes when he saw what was inside.**

**"What the fuck?..."**

**Inside of the room was a scratching post that looked to be made out of human bones and a giant cat bed that was labeled 'little kitty' with the two tailed demon cat sleeping peacefully within it.**

**"You have got to be fucking kidding me!" his shout of disbelief had woken up the 'kitty'.**

**"********Grrrr who the hell are you?****" it growled, but wait a minute weren't cats supposed to hiss?**

**"Ah, hehe, hello I am a seals expert and I was wondering if you could tell me why you were causing Yugito chan trouble with the seal?" he asked hopefully so he could get in and out quickly because it looked like those skulls were all staring at him from the scratching post and to be honest it was seriously fucking creeping him out. **

**His answer was for a fiery blue tail to wrap itself around him and drag him closer to the Nibi, where she proceeded to sniff him.**

**"********Hmm you smell of Kyubi teme, well I never really liked him any way." ****before it proceeded to put him in its mouth and try to eat him. Try being the key word.**

**"AHHHH COME ON CANT WE JUST TALK ABOUT THIS?!" ****he screamed while barely keeping himself from being devoured by holding er teeth apart in a comical fashion.**

**"********Fu haf rofing I vant fuman," ****it paused and then spat him out******** "or maybe you do." it**** purred, this did not look good********were Naruto's thoughts at the moment.******

**"W-what do you mean?" he asked nervously, although from the look in its face he knew damn well what it wanted.**

**His eyes widened and his nose started to leak blood like a waterfall as she transformed mid step into a beautiful woman with wavy black hair with purple tips at the end. Her eyes were yellow and slitted and fangs jutted out of the corner of her mouth. She had the perfect body with hips that weren't too ****small nor too big and her breasts made Naruto's mouth water; a nice pair DD's adorned her chest and to top it all off she was completely nude.**

**"Ah human, it has been so long since I have spent time with a male." she purred as she put her leg around his waist. This action caused Naruto to grin on the outside, but it was short lived as a blinding flash of red light caused both Nibi and Naruto to shut their eyes.**

**"what the fuck do you think you are doing you smelly little flea ridden mongrel?!" came a deafening screech that Naruto knew all too well.**

**"Uh oh," this could not be good "Kyuu chan what are you doing here? N-not that I mind of course, its just that well I'm trying to do something and you might get in the way, Not that you are a bother or anything it just that, I-I mean- well what I'm trying to say is... Please don't kill me!!!" he fell to the floor crying, he did not want to piss her off.**

**"Move please would you Naru chan? ********BEFORE I RIP YOUR FUCKING HEAD OFF!****" she delivered a sharp kick to his side which sent him rolling across the floor at high speeds.**

**"Who are you calling a smelly flea ridden mongrel you stupid rodent?!" Nibi screeched back. This could not end well.**

**"You! Who do you think bitch?!"**

**"I'll fucking kill you!" there argument had now escalated into scratching and pulling hair with both of them growling and hissing at each other. Soon both women were rolling around on the floor completely naked still screaming insults at each other.**

**They were rolling around on the floor trying to get on top of the other to prove who was the most dominant and neither seemed to be winning. It was a matter of pride so no chakra was use, so it was basically 2 extremely hot women wrestling naked. He had been knocked unconscious again when Kyubi had given Nibi a bear hug and their breasts were squashed against each other.**

**It was official Naruto had set the record for worlds hardest boner after seeing the spectacle in front of him. Both Kyubi and Nibi were now a sweating, exhausted tangled mass on the floor. Their nude bodies glistened with the sweat that reflected the light.**

**"Brat I'll be in the seal. I expect you in 3 days, got it?" she said while slowly disappearing from sight. When he nodded quickly she vanished in a burst of flames that flowed back into the seal. **

**"Now that one problem has been solved there are still two matters left to resolve but I think we could solve them both in one go, don't you?" she asked with a sultry smile while glancing down at his boner. **

**"He he can't we talk about this?" seriously one demoness was enough, he did ****not want to sleep with another no matter how hot she was. The answer to his question came in a small stream of fire that melted away his pants.**

**'Damn the Nibi's mastery of fire!' he mentally cursed, well no backing out of it now lest he wanted to look like some kind of queer. **

**(Nothing against gay people by the way!)**

******In heaven or whatever the hell you want to call it**

**Atop the biggest cloud in the sky Jiraiya sat in Kami's bedroom looking into her all knowing mirror, trying to see what his student and god-son was getting up to. It had been easy getting in, I mean coming on he was the greatest ninja that had ever lived, a woman's greatest fantasy, he was Jiraiya the toad sannin!...Well that's what he thought, back onto his task.**

**He was in her room without her permission using the mirror she used to watch over the world as it could see anything. When Jiraiya had learned of this he had quickly built the only hot spring in the afterlife, which had become a huge hit. Hell even kami herself had gone regularly. Then when they were away he would sneak into her room and use the mirror and Wallah Free Porn!**

**He had also published his next book which was also big hit with the men of heaven and he was currently trying to get them sent to hell as per the Shinigami's request, although no one knew of this of course. **

**He was watching through Naruto's eyes as he had entered the seal and had rocketed back with twin trails of blood in front of him when he saw the Nibi transform. When he had awoke he had immediately started to jot down things in his notepad and then went straight back to watching but had immediately been thrown back again with an even bigger nose bleed when he saw the Kyubi and Nibi wrestling in their birthday clothes.**

******2 hours later**

**Kami was on immediate alert when she entered her chambers and blood was all over the place. That was until she saw where it led. It was about this time that Jiraiya woke up and looked straight at kami and her massive eyebrow twitch.**

**"Hehe I can explain?" **

**"****GRRRR DON'T BOTHER!"**

**"I'm about to die, again, aren't I?" a nod of her head was his answer. He sighed it had been a good run but his game was up, but he still had to do one last thing. He gulped as he walked up to kami and grabbed her right breast and gave it a good squeeze before hell broke loose.**

**'Hehe sooo worth it.' was his last conscious thought.******

******30 minutes later **

**That was the last straw. That man was just so infuriating, she had to get rid of him somehow. She couldn't send him to hell since his good deeds outweighed his bad ones, that was ****_his_**** fault. That fucking traitorous shinigami had edited the morality scale so that acts of perversion were neutral instead of bad! **

**Well she couldn't send him back in a body but technically he was a soul and it was possible that more than one soul could inhabit more than one body, I mean look at jinchuriki's. **

**That's when an idea struck her. She could put his soul in a body, it wouldn't have any side affects but given who she planned on putting in the body it might annoy the host. But the big question was: **

**Whose life did she feel like fucking up? **

**Suddenly cackling like a psychopath on drugs she waved her hand and a mirror magically popped up and zoomed in on one Uzumaki Naruto.**

**"Hmm what are you up to- What the fuck?! I-IS THAT THE FUCKING NIBI?! AHHHH SHE SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO BEND THA...Ohhh oh ohh I see how he could do that. Hehehehee, you are one naughty boy Naruto." she had a rather large blush on her face as she watched the proceedings. Her state of mind went from curiosity, to shocked, then appalled, then amazed and finally slightly perverted thoughts of Naruto and herself complete with nose bleed and all.**

**"WHATS GOING ON?! I HERAD YOUR SHOUTS AND SAW ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SOULS BADLY BEATEN!" screamed the shinigami as he materialized in a weird fighting pose. **

**"Wait a minute is that the two tailed biju on top of Naruto Uzumaki?" he was quite shocked to say the least.**

**"Yes." she sighed.**

**"Nice." he added**

**Waving her hand in a dismissing manner the mirror disappeared into nothingness as she turned to address the shinigami. **

"Get your mind out of the gutter I have something I need you to do. As you know I cannot directly influence the world, but for a short period of time you can. So I need you to put Jiraiya's soul into Naruto's body no questions asked."

The Shinigami's face turned serious.

Should I resurrect Jiraiya?

It would only be like him in Naruto's mind like the Kyubi is.

Just imagine it he is a super pervert where as Kyubi is an incredibly hot chick who is easily angered.

But I want to know what you guys think about it. So review and vote or ill manifest aids into an airborne virus and spread it to you guys.

Note- I do not have aids ill have to find some from somewhere in the forest.

Cookie to the person who guesses where I got^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ this saying from.


End file.
